I was trying out for the High School cricket team
Dreamed one day I'd be wearin' that Baggy Green
I gave it all I got and when we were done
The coach called me over and said, "Sorry son"

Chorus:
But you can't bowl and you can't throw
I'm just telling you what everybody knows
Absolute sitters, you put down
All the tail enders hit you out of the ground
Don't ask Warney, it was Cameraman Joe
He'll say you -
Can't bowl and you can't throw

Went for an audition down at Channel 9
Richie's job well, it was gonna be mine
They sent a message on the autocue
It said, "Thanks for comin'
And - we'll call you"

Chorus

Well I met a good looker down at the local bar
And I told her she was talkin' to a big time cricket star
Well I told her my stats and I dropped my name
She said, "I've never heard of you, and I hate that game"

Chorus